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Thursday, February 28, 2013

Bad news



Mental Health
Hey, buddy, hold on there. How would you feel if I lit your friend on fire?
Oh, I did? Well. How does it feel? How do you like it? 

Wednesday, February 27, 2013

Promises


Mental Health
Milton was failing miserably to escape from a conversation with a disagreeable man for whom basic dental hygiene had long since moved from the back burner into the space between the stove and the wall.

Monday, February 25, 2013

Saturday, February 23, 2013

What defines us


Mental Health
Twice he had tried to get out of bed, failing the first time and succeeding the second time only in falling from the bed to the floor. But Thomas had prepared for this eventuality, and there were pillows and blankets on the floor by his bedside. He remained there for the rest of the day.

Thursday, February 21, 2013

In the park

(This entry from the archives, circa 2007, is brought to you by laziness. Try laziness today!)

Wednesday, February 20, 2013

A long walk

Mental Health
"We're finally here," he said. "Off the edge of the map."
 His traveling companions were not so enthused, as the map went only as far as the fence around their yard, and was drawn hastily on a napkin, besides.

Tuesday, February 19, 2013

Saturday, February 16, 2013

Superiority

I could go and scan a new drawing, but there are people around the scanner, and so I'll just post this re-run.

Friday, February 15, 2013

The chin


With writing utensils dwindling, the author was forced to steal a pencil stub from a bookkeeping orphan in order to bring you this (hopefully) mildly amusing drawing. 

Thursday, February 14, 2013

In the wild


Mental Health
Lately, things between Dr. and Mrs. Vandertramp had been tense; she had been holding three of his henchmen hostage for a week. The nefarious Dr. Vandertramp refused to negotiate, but felt pretty sure he could storm the living room and free his men when his wife fell asleep watching midmorning talk shows.

Monday, February 11, 2013

Barriers to understanding


Hey, you! 
(Who, me?) 
Yes, you. You know how Valentine's day is coming up? 
(Ugh, yeah.) 
I'm not happy about it either. But in un-celebration, I'm putting up a song every day until the 14th, on my youtube channel. 
(You have a youtube channel?) 
I do now. And you can go listen to it, and maybe if you like these drawings, you will like the musical equivalent. And as always, if you like this stuff...tell your friends. Or your enemies. Or your parole officer.


Sunday, February 10, 2013

Speak up


Mental Health
Trying very hard to impress a room full of total strangers, Maureen maintained excellent posture and poise, but failed to notice the litter of puppies on the floor, which she accidentally kicked and stumbled over.

Friday, February 8, 2013

Not what you think it's for


Mental Health
George was a human cannonball at heart, but at the insistence of his controlling father-in-law, he got an office job, where he frequently got in trouble for the explosive way he entered rooms and for the smell of gunpowder, which never seemed to leave him.

Thursday, February 7, 2013

Caring

Mental Health
I wish people would call me on the phone sometimes. "Please hold while I make a sandwich and eat it," I'd say. Then they'd all know how important I was.

Wednesday, February 6, 2013

A matter of perspective


Mental Health
"Your attention, please, ladies and gentlemen. There is no cause for alarm. Unless you count fires." 
"..." 
"Oh, you do consider fires a valid cause for alarm? OK, well, to modify my previous statement: there are, like, at least ten causes for alarm."

Tuesday, February 5, 2013

Monday, February 4, 2013

Needlessly confessional



Mental Health
"I'm going to go ahead and stop you right there," said Alfonso, not unkindly. "I'm the janitor, not priest, and this is my supply closet, not the confessional."

Friday, February 1, 2013

A work in progress


I have these fridge magnets, and I think they're pretty fun. And if you think they're fun, too, then you should come over and play with them some time. And if you don't, I hope you get eaten by sloths.