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Thursday, April 25, 2013

Give up already


Mental Health
Aziz had met an inquisitive Spaniard earlier that day, the kind dressed in red robes who wanted to know a great deal of personal things about Aziz, such as his religious convictions and whether or not he would like a piece of bacon. The man had seemed nice, except for his habit of occasionally bursting into more or less maniacal laughter.

Monday, April 22, 2013

Not a re-run, for a change

Mental Health
"No price is too high to pay for the avoidance of awkward conversation," said the life coach. "Pretend to be blind, or only go out in public in disguise, whatever; just don't get stuck asking boring useless questions you don't even care about the answers to."

Sunday, April 21, 2013

Saturday, April 20, 2013

Reasonable proposition

The long streak of re-runs continues. In my defense, who schedules final exams on Saturdays?

Wednesday, April 17, 2013

These are officially my last wishes

Friends and "loved ones" take note: If you don't do this, I will for sure haunt you.

Monday, April 15, 2013

Friends forever

Editor's note: maybe a lot of my friends will think this is about them. I won't say one way or the other.

Mental Health
Somehow, Brad felt like his luck was taking a turn for the better. The clouds of locusts had begun to leave his kitchen, and the sink no longer ran with blood. He scratched absentmindedly at his leprosy, reflecting on the fact that you can't have it all.

Thursday, April 11, 2013

It might have been


Mental Health
Somewhere off in the distance, a mournful cry erupted, rending the air with ultimate disappointment and despair. I smiled in the windy dusk, knowing that they had found each of their backpacks turned inside out, the contents replaced, and zipped back up. The smile widened as I knew they would never catch me: my head start into the hills, and the darkness which surrounded me, would give me a clean getaway.

Wednesday, April 10, 2013

They're super annoying


I had complaints yesterday, so here's an interrogation. It's not very good.

Tuesday, April 9, 2013

It's called a book

It's this great book on how to mind your own business. You should get a copy.

Monday, April 8, 2013

In case of inclement weather

As much as gender norms can be arbitrary, I feel like anyone who wants to be called a man can reasonably be held to this part of the man code.

Sunday, April 7, 2013

Friday, April 5, 2013

Thursday, April 4, 2013

Thought process

Sometimes, I forget that I can't read minds, because everyone's thought process just seems so obvious.

Mental Health
Ferdinand's manifesto got good marks for originality and organization, but its in-text citations suffered from a mixture of different styles and the manuscript was sometimes illegible from pizza sauce stains.

Wednesday, April 3, 2013

Monday, April 1, 2013