It's not an advertisement; it's an order. Be the warden of your own mouth.
Friday, January 31, 2014
Thursday, January 30, 2014
Wednesday, January 29, 2014
Tuesday, January 28, 2014
Yesterday I posted a simple quiz that promises to tell you what kind of crazed bum you are. You should go take it, because it's important to know. Anyway, here are the kinds covered in the quiz:
Of course, the emerging field of bum taxonomy is full of examples of other types, but they're not as well-understood as the above three. If you take the quiz and find that the results don't seem to be a perfect fit, you might consider some of these other possibilities:
- The Storytelling Bum: sometimes considered a subset of the Too Much Information Bums, the storytellers will tell you anything, not just uncomfortably personal information. They're kind of like the Homer of ancient Greece, except their stories probably won't be read by bored high school students in four thousand years.
- The Trickster Bum: will sometimes try to trick you out of your food or money, but sometimes just wants to mess with you for fun. The Trickster Bums might seem almost sane on the surface, but remember that their entire purpose in life is to break your brain.
- The Hardcore Bum: these ones are playing on hard mode. They don't complain and most of them don't beg. Even the world of the working class is cushy to them; the hardcore bums live in a world that seems almost post-apocalyptic, scavenging and battling their way through life on the margins, making do with the crumbled remnants of a broken system (how cool does that sound? BRB, becoming a hardcore bum).
Monday, January 27, 2014
Though a small group of people does choose homelessness and bumhood, did you know that something like 40% of the homeless population suffers from mental illness? There's nothing funny about that. If you have the means, you might consider donating time or money to a local or regional shelter, or the National Alliance to End Homelessness (charity navigator information here).
Sunday, January 26, 2014
When they came home, the young troll looked ashamed, and they quickly found the reason why. Every trash can in the house was overturned, and the contents had all been spread about and chewed on. Dad rubbed the troll's nose it and sternly repeated, "Bad troll! Bad troll!" But we didn't know then just how bad the troll could be.
Saturday, January 25, 2014
Friday, January 24, 2014
As I reached the finish line with the wind rushing past me and the long line of spectators calling out, everything seemed just as it had in my dream. This was my greatest moment. But the moment was over when I made it to the end of the race and the "mayor" told me I should be "ashamed of myself" for forcing my way into a "children's race".
Thursday, January 23, 2014
Some days, looking out to sea, Heinrich would imagine he saw her returning over the horizon, and would throw on a coat and boots to rush out to the rocky shore before he remembered that she had left on a rocket ship, and had promised she was never coming back.
Wednesday, January 22, 2014
Tuesday, January 21, 2014
Monday, January 20, 2014
Sunday, January 19, 2014
Saturday, January 18, 2014
Friday, January 17, 2014
Thursday, January 16, 2014
I really did mean to come back for you, I swear. And I'm sorry you had to face the mutant UltraRats alone. I would have been there for you, would have had your back...but I already told my friend I'd help him steal office chairs, and you can't just back out on something like that. I'm sure you understand.