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Thursday, April 30, 2015

I've been through the desert


Editor's note: after drawing this, I did a quick search and confirmed that yes, the basic idea is not new, here. But I did it better. You can check for yourself.



Wednesday, April 29, 2015

Intelligent pass-times

Mental Health
Having sounded the cosmos for eons and sought unceasingly after all knowledge, this particular being was ascending to a higher plane. Yet greater beings stood there and began to assess its knowledge. The judgment: while it technically had come to a knowledge of everything, it had, in the Greater Beings' opinion, failed to sufficiently show its work, and would have to be reincarnated as a bacterium and start over.

Tuesday, April 28, 2015

Insistence

Mental Health
"I am here and this is happening. I have lived and breathed and bled and had a unique experience as an individual being. And I have existed and exist, and if only someone could see that..."
-"Sir? Please—"
"Yeah, alright, I guess what I'm trying to say is, I think you're right. I should take that order to go."


 

Monday, April 27, 2015

I can't restrain myself from asking


Though it can be even more confusing and difficult for a claustrophiliac to navigate the minefield of dating and relationships, an open, direct approach is usually best.

Sunday, April 26, 2015

Friday, April 24, 2015

Guessing games


Mental Health
The problem was, no one could tell which eye was glass, an aesthetic prosthesis, and which was the functional one. One schoolyard rumor held that both were glass, and the man was one of those remarkable, totally blind individuals who manages to pass as a seeing person. Cynical observers speculated that the opposite was true, and both eyes were glassy and glazed over, but were the functioning eyeballs he had been born with so very long ago.

Thursday, April 23, 2015

Some bad news


"I can't be the first person to ever ask you this– is there any way I can switch doctors?"

Wednesday, April 22, 2015

All shall like me and despair


Mental Health
Well, I don't like like you, and I don't even really like you. Maybe I half-like you...I li you? Maybe our relationship is sufficiently insignificant that it doesn't need to be described by a word, and we should just go talk to other people.

Tuesday, April 21, 2015

So you've been criticized

Mental Health
Dr. Vandertramp stood over the fallen form of his vanquished foe, managing to look simultaneously triumphant and a little bored.
"Do you know why I am standing, Generalissimo, and you are not?" he asked.
The man's only response was a wet cough and a groan.
"Sometimes, even your enemies will do you the favor of showing you your flaws, and perhaps even suggest a way to improve. You should take that very seriously, and be grateful, regardless of the source. If there is a 'next time' for you, try to remember that." 
 
 

Monday, April 20, 2015

Love is a trial


"I move to cross-examine the defending counsel, who clearly works out."
"Consider all my objections overruled. How can I say no to this face?"
"Get a sidebar, you two."

Sunday, April 19, 2015

Made for each other

Mental Health
At first, they only regarded each other in disbelief, he with his overbite and she with her underbite, each feeling a lifetime's insecurities and frustrations simply dissipate into nothing. So this was what it meant to have a soul mate. And when words failed them on that first occasion, they fell into a passionate embrace. From then on, they shared a prognathic correspondence so exact that normal-biters would never understand the perfection attained each time they kissed.

Friday, April 17, 2015

A single tear

Mental Health
"You mean we're just going to leave it there?" the expedition's scientist said.
"Unless you have some extra fuel you've been keeping to yourself, we can't afford to take garbage back with us to Earth. Propulsion doesn't come cheap," the commander replied, at least half of her attention simultaneously devoted to something else.
"But the  ecosystem—"
"I don't think rocks and dust counts as an ecosystem, doctor. Not when nothing's living in it. But if it makes you feel any better, someday they'll have the technology to take care of the trash. It's the future's problem."

Wednesday, April 8, 2015

A wider perspective


Mental Health
Viewed from exactly the right perspective, which involved some improbable angles and a fair amount of squinting, Josiah Gerbil was a handsome and trustworthy-looking man. At all other times, he had an appearance that his local newspaper once unkindly (and unnecessarily) described as "resembling the offspring of a troll and a cactus". 

Tuesday, April 7, 2015

Guaranteed box office triumph



Also, did you know that I have awesome friends? You might be one of them (but don't get cocky). My friend Collin made this piece of guest art, and I'm a big fan. If only more of you could be like Collin and make comics for me.



Saturday, April 4, 2015

Pick a side


You can take your false dichotomies and either do one thing or another with them

Wednesday, April 1, 2015

A big announcement


Hoy me complace anunciar que se ha negociado con Didacticon™una nueva dirección para mis ilustraciones- serán utilizadas para ayudar a aprender el inglés: