Basement thoughts

 

This one's not technically a re-run, unless I showed you this at school back then. I was just starting to realize I wasn't too cool for poetry, but I was also watching Salad Fingers more than is probably good for a person.

Look but do not touch

 

The subject of today's Remake Monday was first drawn sometime in 2004, before there was such a thing as CrustaceanSingles. It was one of Lobsterman's earliest appearances on paper. I was not paying attention in class. There were more important things to do.
(The original drawing was subsequently posted on 2012-03-26 as a re-run.)

New, old, etc.

On this, the first day of a new year, I give you one of the first ever appearances of Lobsterman on paper, from (as near as I can tell) the very beginning of 2005. Here's to 10 more years of Lobsterman, unless I get tired of it or die first.

A fine eulogy

Try eating more fruit!

Re-run Sunday: Lobsterman enjoys a banana (circa 2006)

Throwback...Saturday?

A Mental Health entry from the archives:

28 March 2010

The kidnappers had not been unkind, and even then, blindfolded and hogtied in the back of an unmarked white van, William Stonecutter couldn't help but excitedly say to himself, "I wonder where we're going?" In spite of the gentle pistol whipping, he suspected it might be a surprise party.

And here's a drawing from even longer ago (2007):

Sacred duty

Mental Health

Adepts of the Order of St. Sycophantus were charged with the task of praising the Lord so immoderately, day and night, that it would distract Him from the potentially sinful acts being done ostensibly in His name by their very pragmatic brethren in the other orders who had, after all, a church to run on earth, with human beings and their free will constantly running amok.

This is one of the first ever Lobsterman drawings, from early 2005.
I think that may have been a darker time for me.

Wrong bus

It's one of those days when the best thing I can do seems to be digging in the depths for a pretty odd picture from the archives, circa 2005. When Lobsterman plays the straight man, you know that strange things are afoot.

Nothing practical about it

Mental Health

A practical joke would have been one with a reasonable purpose or result. Your little stunt with the marbles broke my legs, and there's nothing practical about that.

The problem with balloons

Mental Health

 Chapter three-ish.

The superintendent burst through the front doors of the elementary school, which was the only way he knew how to use doors. He was feeling the pleasant adrenaline rush that always accompanied giving a good chewing out, which he planned to do whether or not it was deserved, because honestly, it must be deserved for something or other. If the rumors had reached all the way to the superintendent's office, he reasoned, something must be up. 

He prowled the hallways, realizing it had been a while since he visited this particular school and not quite able to find the main office. He should have the whole place torn down and build a more straightforward building in its place. Finally he found it, though, and glared at a receptionist who didn't really look the part. Not one to mince words, he barked, "Brink." 

The receptionist looked like a bank teller about to activate the silent alarm. This is because this scenario had been rehearsed at the insistence of Principal Brink and, though it did seem really legitimately crazy to the receptionist, the principal did seem to take it seriously. The desk phone connected to the office phone, rang twice, and was abruptly hung up. "He's not in right now," said the receptionist flatly. 

The superintendent decided that something was fishy and went ahead past the desk and up to the door of the principal's office. He turned the handle, swung the door open and saw through the window, which was half open, as a tweed-suited figure ran across the school grounds and through the bushes.

Hostilities

No fad diets

Occupational hazards

(re-run, yes, I know)

Mental Health

Well, your résumé is all in order. We're very impressed with your answers in the interviews. There's just one more question we have to ask before we extend an offer: do you always wear a boot on your head?

Bright sides

Mental Health


Anything can have a positive spin. For example-- and I was meaning to tell you this-- today, some benevolent stranger rear-ended me while I was running errands and totaled your car. So now we don't have to buy gas, or insurance, or clean out the cupholders anymore. Isn't that great?

Re-run! (Another very old one).

Not approved by the American Dental Association

Call it a re-run, or a classic, or whatever you want. I think the above drawing is from the summer of 2005.

Mental Health

"I am going to make it through this year if it kills me."

(The Mountain Goats, This Year)

Old wine, new bottle

Mental Health

You people all throw around the words "life-changing" as though it were always a good thing. I can think of several things I could do to you right now that would disprove that notion.

And a classic Lobsterman from years ago, because someone asked: