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Friday, June 6, 2014

To fit a description

Mental Health
The Royal Society for Pedantry and Quibbling faced a serious dilemma: against all odds and in open defiance of every expert's prediction, the nation's youth were learning every pathetically tiny detail the RSPQ could throw at them, learning them and mastering them and even sending tomes of correspondence requesting clarifications on rules that the RSPQ had never even thought of.
After months in a private chamber, the robed sages, defenders of detail, debated what to do next. Some claimed that their purpose had been fulfilled, and they should disband. Others saw no harm in their taking a less active role, since enforcement of technicalities now needed so little attention. But the vastest contingent pushed forward a new idea, one that gained followers and increased in devious design until it was officially approved by the entire council:
 "We propose to maintain the spirit of the RSPQ in the face of this development by undertaking a campaign of obfuscation: every rule currently mastered by the public will be altered, but unpredictably. Some, we will reverse, while others will change only slightly. The end result will be mass confusion and an opportunity for us to retake our lost ground."
After another week debating the merits of hyphenating or not hyphenating 'retake', they reached an accord. And so began the Grammer Warz.


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