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2024-07-25

You know why

 

A person stands with their head facing approximately three-quarters toward the reader, except that one eye and the part of the head around it has stretched over to the side, about twice as far apart from the other eye as it would have been in a more typical position. The facial expression is bothered, perhaps judgmental. "You are receiving the Side Eye."

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2024-07-24

Grift cat

 

A person holds a cat in the crook of one arm and looks down at said cat with a large smile. "I think that meeting went well. You were very believable as a wealthy scion."

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2024-07-23

I am learnèd

 

Top caption: "Pain teaches all about time"; illustration: stick figure stands a little hunched as the center of a sundial, casting a long shadow across it; bottom caption: "but what a useless lesson".

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2024-07-22

It is time

 

A gecko peers over an edge and says, "It is time to pay the lizard."

Oh, did you "forget"?

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2024-07-21

Out there

 

A human astronaut floats in space and faces two indeterminate forms, perhaps the tentacular limbs of some alien or individual heads on long necks. Caption: "Sometimes the great big universe gets so lonesome / that you start to wish for monsters".
and hope that they are out there wishing for you

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2024-07-19

Too tiny

 

Image of a tiny ant. Top caption: "too tiny to be noticed"; bottom caption: "not too tiny to be crushed".

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2024-07-18

Who would have thunk

 

A stick figure with exaggeratedly long limbs says, "As unlikely as it seems, / I am a type of person that can be".

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2024-07-17

Used to

 

A closeup of a the top of a person's head, from the eyes up, thinking: "I used to think clearly. / Well... / I used to think I was thinking clearly."

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2024-07-16

Withheld

 

A bald figure with an unkempt beard and wild stare holds a sign that formerly read "The end is near"; the final word has been crossed out and replaced with "being withheld as punishment".
 

This is probably doctrinal to some real group out there, huh?

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2024-07-15

Noise

 

Person 1, having adopted a stance of peevish delight in anticipation of doing something annoying: "Can I interest you in a profoundly obnoxious noise?" Person 2, arms folded: "I am uninterested and I will hear nothing more of the matter."

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2024-07-14

Taste

 

Person 1: How's that sandwich? Person 2, holding up said sandwich with a giant bite taken out of it: Heartbreaking! You *must* have a taste.

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2024-07-13

Beyond our mortal ken

 

Person 1, about to open a door: "Are you prepared to behold a sight so utterly beyond our mortal ken that it will drive you irrevocably to madness?" Person 2, thinking about it: "I'm not uninterested, but I require more information first."

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2024-07-12

Grasp

 

An alien life form with a vaguely insectlike head, six-eyed on a long neck and two main limbs, outstretched and somewhat reminiscent of coral, says to a human stick figure "I would like to grasp your forelimbs." The human thinks about this and says, "I'm not uninterested, but I require more information first."

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2024-07-11

Compelling

 

Person 1, extending a glass jar: "Want to smell something compelling?" Person 2, contemplative: "I'm not uninterested, but I require more information first."

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2024-07-10

Art life

 

Person 1, cheerfully standing over a second person who lies on their back on the floor among crumpled and ripped pieces of paper: "How's the art life?" Person 2: "I pay myself in exposure, and I do not pay well."

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2024-07-09

Task could not be completed

 

Panel 1 of 2: seen from behind and over the shoulder, a person holds a "to do" list with one task: "Relax!" Panel 2 of 2: seen from the front, the same person holds the paper with a look of disquiet. Sweat drops form across their forehead.

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2024-07-08

Science drink

 

Pictured: a scientist wearing giant round glasses and a lab coat, pensively holding a beaker of pale green liquid from which they have just sipped. The scientist thinks, "Nice flavor...no monstrosification... / Well, so far."

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2024-07-07

What am I doing and why?

 

A person in a tree costume says, "Can we talk about my motivation in this scene?"

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2024-07-06

I hope you're ready

 

A person wears a banjo on a strap, about to play, and says "I hope you're ready to feel something."

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2024-07-05

Myrmecomeditation

 

Two ants scout among rocks and plants. Text says "Always careful. / Never worried."

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2024-07-04

Oh no, continued

 

Pictured: fireworks against a dark sky; in the middle of ordinary colorful explosions, the words "OH NO" are spelled out in pyrotechnics.

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2024-07-03

A terrible mistake

 

Fish 1: I have made a terrible mistake. Fish 2: What did you do? Fish 1: Not sure, but just look at me. Look at my life.

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2024-07-02

A message

A scroll is unrolled, revealing upon its surface a drawing of an angry stick figure pointing at an upheld scroll bearing the word "Unsubscribe" in pseudo-calligraphy.

Release me from the torment of your unceasing epistles.

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2024-07-01

Stop

A bird carries a sign that reads "Stop stealing my signs".

 

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2024-06-30

Growth

 

A seedling cactus in a featureless expanse with washed-out colors. "I will not be pursuing growth until conditions improve."

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2024-06-29

Might be neat

 

Top caption: "Snakes with beaks:"; illustration: a snake with a beak; bottom caption: "Get on it, evolution!"

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2024-06-28

Identifying

 

A seabird asks a person floating on the ocean in a little pool floaty tube, "Are you the beast upon the waters?" The person says, "I am not representative of aquatic life."

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2024-06-27

Commune with nature

 

A person who has just emerged from a tent says, "Time to commune with nature!" A butterfly says, "Hey, thanks for the microplastics, jerk!" A bee asks, "That was *this* guy‽"

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2024-06-26

I tried

 

Person looking hopefully upward: I tried really hard today, / & the results were indistinguishable from not trying at all, to an outside observer, / but one of these days I really am going to get someone to go into my basement".

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2024-06-24

Mind changing

 

Top caption: The thrilling conclusion to "I have to get out of here", panel 1 of 4: / The panel shows the shovel-user, still sitting on the log, projects outward calm while saying, "I think—and I am furious about this—you are right." Bottom caption: See the rest on ko-fi.com/CrustaceanSingles .
 

I've just added one more four-panel entry to "I have to get out of here" to the yesterday's megapost on ko-fi.com/CrustaceanSingles. Here's the first of the four final panels, which I hope will interest you enough to follow a linkto a second location.

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2024-06-23

Catching up on getting out of here

 

Image of a shovel with the title "I have to get out of here".
 

For the dozen of you who were following the "I have to get out of here" story, this post starts at the beginning and catches up on the story I didn't post from 2024-06-19 to -23. Then there are several words I wrote about it all.

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2024-06-19

A break

 

I'm going to take a few days off. Posting a comic every day has been a big part of my whole deal for a very long time (thirteen years at the end of the next month) but it's a self-imposed rule. I'm not in trouble at all. Maybe I will even manage to convince myself of this. See you in a few days. Saturday, maybe.

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2024-06-18

Need to not

 

In continuation from yesterday's comic, the person who dug a hole and fell into a chasm and dug into the cavern floor and found a hatch there and went down the hatch and fell from a cloud and landed in an ephemeral pond next to Grambo now replies to Grambo: "I'm happy for you. Truly. / Me, though...wherever I am, I need to not. / I can't wait weeks to keep digging. Guess I better start running."

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2024-06-17

How do you know

In continuation from yesterday's comic, Grambo addresses the person who fell out of the sky with a shovel and immediately tried to dig a hole in the body of water in which both characters stand: "How do you know you have to get out of here?" (The other holds their shovel and frowns at it.) "For the record, this is one of my favorite places in the world. An ephemeral pond."

 

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2024-06-16

As below, so above

 

This continuation from past days' comics takes the form of two vertical panels. First, on the left, in a sequence of three motions from the top down, the person who fell from the sky grabs their shovel and begins to dig at the water, which is of course futile, while saying "I have / to get out / of here". On the right, Grambo has straightened somewhat and says with a concerned face, "This, however, I don't think I can endorse."

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2024-06-15

Splash

 

In continuation from yesterday's comic, the unnamed person falling from the sky is just landing with a huge splash in a body of water of uncertain breadth or depth. Their shovel lands just ahead of them with a "SPLIP!" Nearby, Grambo (whose head and shoulders are sticking out of the water) says, "That's the spirit!"

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2024-06-14

Descent

 

In continuation from yesterday's comic, the unnamed person has stepped down through the hatch marked EXIT, which is seen above superimposed on the bottom of a cloud. The person is falling feet first; next to them falls the shovel.

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2024-06-13

Advice

 

In continuation from yesterday's comic, the person who dug into the floor of the cavern to unearth a hatch with a handle and the word EXIT now kneels next to said hatch and puts a hand on the handle. "Got any advice?" they ask the other person in the cavern. The other replies, "Don't take my advice," before adding, "I'm the version that's stuck here." Another silence, and then, "I hope it goes better for you."

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2024-06-12

Exit

 

In continuation from yesterday's comic, the person digging at the floor of the cavern has unearthed the source of the CLANG sound: a hatch in the floor with a handle and the single word "EXIT".

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2024-06-11

Clang

 

In continuation from yesterday's comic, the person who dug a deep hole and fell into a cavern and met a person who is possibly themself has picked up their shovel and begun to dig into the floor of the cavern. But now, after only a few shovel strokes, the shovel hits something that goes CLANG!

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2024-06-10

In that case,

 

In continuation from yesterday's comic, today's is in three panels. Panel 1 of 3: the person who has fallen into the cavern and sat up on its floor now leans forward to pick up the shovel they dropped before falling. The person says, "Well,". Panel 2 of 3: The same person leans on the shovel to pull themself upright. They say, "OK." Panel 3 of 3: a full-width view of the scene in which the person with the shovel is now digging into the floor of the cavern while the other person, who was already in the cavern when the former fell, looks on astonished consternation.

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2024-06-09

You always do this

 

In continuation from yesterday's comic, the person who fell into the cavern has sat up on the floor and listens to the one who was already in the cavern: "We— you always do this. / 'I have to get out of here!' / And then you panic, and then sooner or later you end up here. / And then you have to get out of here."

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2024-06-08

Again?

 

In continuation from yesterday's comic, the person who was digging the hole has now fallen down the fissure that opened up beneath it and finds themself in a cavern with an uneven but smooth floor. The shovel they dropped is there. A red glow lights the walls but the source is unseen. Another person stands over them with folded arms and says, "Oh. You again."

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2024-06-07

A fissure appears

 

In continuation from yesterday's comic, the cracking sound is the start of a wide fissure opening up directly beneath the hole the person was digging. The person leaps up against the wall in alarm. The enormous worm that was poking its head into the hole retreats, calling, "Good luck!" From the fissure below, red light glows and a voice shouts, "Hey! Who's dropping shovels‽"

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2024-06-06

Too late, topsider

 

In continuation from yesterday's comic, a person stands in a deep hole they dug, facing an unusually large worm emerging into the hole. A tremendous CRACK sounds and the worm tells the person, "Well, you *had* to get out of here."

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2024-06-05

Topsider down

 

In continuation from yesterday's comic, an unusually large worm sticks its head into the deep hole in which the person holding a shovel is standing. The worm tells the person, "Hey. Topsider. You have to get out of here."

I know that. How do you know that?

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2024-06-04

Down and out

 

In continuation from yesterday's comic, a person has dug themself into a deep hole, with the undug portions shown in cross-section, the only interesting detail from which is a worm poking its head into the dug portion and saying, "Heck?" At the bottom, the person stands with their shovel and thinks, "I have to get out of here."


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2024-06-03

Urgently

 

A person approaches behind another who is digging a hole with a shovel in a wide, flat expanse of short grass. "What are you doing?" asks the former. "I have to get out of here," replies the latter.

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2024-06-02

Fine. Good.

 

A smiling sun looks down on a grouchy stick figure and says, "I don't like you either!"

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2024-06-01

Don't

 

A happy bright sun in a clear sky says, "Beautiful morning!" A person standing on the ground looks up with folded arms and an irritated expression and says, "You're not allowed to talk to me."

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2024-05-31

Something completely else

 

A fluffy cloud in a very slightly bird shape says "I wanted to become something completely else / Not just vaguely shaped like it".

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2024-05-30

Ephemerality

 

A cloud with a face says, "I don't want to be here. / And soon enough, I wont be."

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2024-05-29

Cloud thoughts

 

Pictured: clouds in a blue sky, two in the upper left background and one in the foreground. All have faces. The one in the foreground also has a thought bubble which reads, "Whoa. I bet my thoughts look like little versions of *me*."

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2024-05-28

Deliberateness

Person looks defiantly up at a cloud and says, "I'm immune to criticism because I'm doing it wrong on purpose!" The cloud looks down grumpily.

 

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2024-05-27

Recollection

 

A person calls up at a cloud, "Hey, cloud! Remember me?" The cloud replies, "I share the memory of all water. But you in particular? I got nothing."

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2024-05-26

Life plans

 

Person 1: You don't want to die a jaded, bitter husk! Person 2: No, I want to *live* a jaded, bitter husk.

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2024-05-25

Distances

A little stick figure peers over the edge of a cloud and says, "It's a long way down." The cloud replies, "Long way up, too."

 

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2024-05-24

Immediate environs

 

Three tiny clouds float in the vicinity of a surprised person's head. The two clouds on their left side are raining tinily. One of the clouds says, "Nice microclimate you've got here."

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2024-05-23

That which transpires below

One cloud, contorted in disgust and horror, shouts, "AAAAAHHHHHHH!" Another, concerned, asks, "Whoa, what's wrong?" The first replies, "I just noticed what they're doing down there."

 

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2024-05-22

Please direct me

 

A large fluffy cloud with heavy greyness has stuffed one descending tendril into a trenchcoat and formed approximate arms and legs. The cloud has a face, which is placed way too high for its intended disguise. The cloud says, "Hello. I am looking for parade. I love to go to parade. For watching."

I am allowed to know the location. I am allowed to go to parade.

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2024-05-21

Eyes in the skies

 

From a looming cloud, a giant hand made of cloud emerges and points downward with its index finger. On the tip of the finger is an angry face that says, "I saw that".

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2024-05-20

Nothing good can come of this

 

Fluffy clouds hang in a still sky. Their surfaces contain lines that could be part of their shapes or could represent serene, satisfied faces with closed eyes. Bottom text: The clouds are so peaceful today. / What are they plotting? END

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2024-05-19

Buy it!

 

Two children play with large, cartoony cloud action figures. The clouds have faces that sort of glare. One kid makes the cloud say "You're doing it wrong!" and the other makes the other cloud reply "No, you're doing it wrong!" Bottom text reveals the image to be an advertisement: MEGA CLOUD ACTION PLAYSET / Sky sold separately. END

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2024-05-18

The forecast

 

A sky with fluffy clouds, each of which is partial as though cut in half, with the inside visible in slightly swirling cross section. Caption: Partly cloudy.

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2024-05-17

Cloud cover

 

Illustration: A person sits in the basket of a hot air balloon disguised as a cloud. The balloon floats among real clouds. The person writes in a notebook. Bottom caption: Mere days into the study, I believe the herd has accepted me as one of their own.

Though I do worry about the awkwardness to come when everyone else starts raining.

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2024-05-16

Huh

 

Person 1, pointing: Is that a question mark hovering over your head? Person 2, slumped and looking confused: Yeah. I don't get it.
 

Keep in mind that your booing will only make me stronger.

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2024-05-15

Compression

 

One person with an intense expression holds a large bottle that visibly trembles. Another person says, "Oh no! Your rage bottle is full!" The one holding the bottle says, "It's been full for a long time. The fun part is seeing how much the contents can be compressed."

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2024-05-14

The sky inside

 

A tiny cloud with an angry face has entered a room through an open window. A person wielding a broom attempts to shoo it back outside. The cloud hisses.

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2024-05-13

Bob

 

A floating balloon with a face frowns and says, "It is not funny that my name is Bob."

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2024-05-12

To fail

 

Person 1: "I'm a miserable failure." Person 2: "Hey, don't sell yourself short. You're a *spectacular failure*."

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2024-05-11

Thanks for the setup

 

Person 1: Do you know any dad jokes? Person 2, slumping sadly: Buddy, you're looking at one.

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2024-05-10

Go on without me

 

A snail lagging behind two others says, "Go on without me. I'll catch up eventually, probably, maybe". The others exchange an awkward, disbelieving glance.

And if not, I guess I'll see you in Snail Hell.

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2024-05-09

Unprepared

 

Two excited stick figures wear hats upside down on their heads and shout in unison: "Upside down hats! Upside down hats!" A third holds a hat in hands and says, "You go on ahead, fellas, but me, I'm not sure I'm prepared for this level of tomfoolery."

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2024-05-08

Profundity uncertainty

 

Panel 1 of 2: a person holds their chin, pensive-style, and thinks, "Am I having profound thoughts or is it just evocative nonsense?" Panel 2 of 2: We now see the person from behind; they sit on a stone and look down over a valley and low hills at the horizon where the sun is setting. Clouds above the sunset spell out the words "WHO CARES".

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2024-05-07

What I would like to know is

 

Grumpy-looking person with spiky face and/or facial hair (it's unclear!) sitting on steps: "We've been friends for a while now, & what I would like to know is, why?" Person lying on their back on the ground, gesturing with a floppy arm: "Eh...why not?"

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2024-05-06

Boring questions

 

Panel 1 of 2: A pensive person stands in a lumpy orange-red expanse under a black sky; everything is outlined in white. Superimposed text reads, "Where am I?" "What am I supposed to be doing?" These are boring questions. Panel 2 of 2: Now seen from behind, the same person stands looking at something that looks like a cross between a Tillandsia xerographica and an octopus. Superimposed text: "What is that thing?" "And does it want to be my friend?" Much better. END

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2024-05-05

Thanks question mark

 

Bird perched on a branch to human: "You know how sometimes it's endearing when someone knows very little? Of course not. / Anyway, I like you a lot and I'm glad you're here."

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2024-05-04

Invitation spurned

 

Person standing in open doorway: "Oh, hey, ghosts! I invite you to come in!" Ghost 1, looking miffed: "You're thinking vampires." Ghost 2, also annoyed: "We can go through any solid object." Ghost 1: "But now we don't want to." Ghost 2: "Yeah, we're put off by your ignorance."

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2024-05-03

Egress and ingress

 

Panel 1 of 2: One person with a hole in their forehead says to another, "Trepanation has many benefits. For one, it lets the ghosts out of my skull." The other replies, "Or in." Panel 2 of 2: A closeup of the face of the person with the hole in their head, an expression of shock and dread upon it.

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2024-05-02

I need it like I need a hole in the head

 

A person with a woodpecker perched on their head and a hole in their forehead points at the hole and the woodpecker, looking happy and excited. "Being friends with a woodpecker is great! I got this trepanning done for free!"

Friendship sounds rewarding. I keep meaning to try it sometime.

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2024-05-01

That's all we want

 

From a high angle looking down, a person stands under a few bare tree branches in which sit two birds. The person, distraught, says, "I just feel so weighed down by expectations". One bird replies, "We literally just want seeds." The other adds, "C'mon. Didn't you guys invent agriculture?"

Pretty sure ants did it first, actually.

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2024-04-30

Punctuated

 

One person seen from the knees up has their body turned away from the other but face towards the other. The other is closer to the reader, from the waist up, arms folded. Both people look hesitant, uncertain. Above and between them, various punctuation with no words hovers in the air. Caption at bottom: Intermittent punctuation undermined the silence.

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2024-04-29

Restlessness

 

A person lies on their back on the floor with arms folded and legs writhing in the air. The legs are disproportionately long and twisted. The person says, "Restless legs, why can't you be lethargic like the rest of the body?"

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2024-04-28

Write what you know

 

A sad person sits on a tall stool and slumps over an acoustic guitar. "No one understands me. / Maybe my lyrics are too vague. / Maybe I should write them in human language."

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2024-04-27

Possibilities, probably

 

This one is all one panel but with an implied three-panel structure, all with the same half-sketched contemplative character thinking, in sequence, "I could do whatever I want, probably." and "No one would stop me, I bet." and "They probably should, though."

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2024-04-26

Condiments and comprehensibility

 

Person 1, smiling and gesticulating: "[Conversing conversationally]". Person 2, with small, faraway eyes: "Sorry, I'm too hungry to see you as anything but a giant talking sandwich, and I can't understand you through all the mustard."

But let me be clear: I am not complaining about the amount of mustard. Even more would be good too. You could totally pull it off.

 

Discussion: I should have drawn the person as the talking sandwich, maybe? Despite the fact that we are observing this scene from outside the second character's perspective? And more importantly despite the fact that I didn't want to?

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