Snake variants

A snake with one hump on its back is labeled "Dromedary snake". Another with two humps is labeled "Bactrian snake".

 Stick around with CrustaceanSingles and you just might learn a thing or two!


Networking nightmare


Two humanoid figures stand facing each other; the one on the right holds a healthy crab and looks nonplussedly over at the other's proffered limp lobster and deflated facial expression. Caption: "But of course, the chance meeting's promise of a lucky break—so long-awaited and desperately needed—all fell apart when it came time to exchange business crabs."

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Two stick figures wear neolithic clothing and engage in gathering; one crouches over a bush in which at least two cats are partly contained, and another kneels before plants growings thumbs-up icons, a basket with already-harvested upvote and heart icons on the ground at the ready. Caption: "Early humans foraging for dopamine."

The archaeological record suggests they were able to meet their needs with as little as twelve hours of gathering in a week.



That empty feeling

Two balloons with faces float next to a window. One has a despondent expression and says, "sure, I still float & bob & squeak, but on the inside? on the inside, I've been popped for a looong time now". The other looks concerned. Out the window, a bird flies by carrying a sword with its feet, though this is unrelated.

"But listen to me going on and on! How are you enjoying the new neighborhood?"


I am a rock in a stream

Pictured: a stream flows across a forest landscape; plants grow among fallen leaves and stones on the banks of the stream. One rock is in the stream, partially submerged. Top caption: "I am a rock in a stream. Thoughts and sensations arise, passing over and around me like water; only I remain." Bottom caption: "I am a pissed-off rock in an irritating stream..."

This is the meditation that got me through a four-hour infusion of ocrelizumab yesterday. Maybe you will find it helpful, too.



Comment section


A smirking figure hunches over a laptop at a desk in a dark room and types into a comment box: "You don't understand. I'm angry at people online because I'm a *success*. I've already driven off everyone in real life. This is like a bonus level for me."

"And I have managed to convince myself that upvotes and downvotes both mean I'm right, so."


So tired


A bird perches on a stool and delivers standup comedy into a microphone on a stand: "I just flew in from Newark, and boy are my wings tired! / I am very out of shape, folks."

"I try explaining to my agent that I'm non-migratory, but she's an arctic tern..."


Please don't

A person seated at a table addresses a nervous-looking waiter: "Please don't politely ask me to leave. / I'll go, but only if *you* make a scene."

I just think it would be nice to be on the other end of things for once.




Person 1, cheerfully: How would you like to do something fun?  Person 2, despondently: I have tried my best, but I cannot imagine a way.

Haha question words can be ambiguous. Haha depression.


Smelt it, dealt it, etc.

   This is a departure from the typical format, and also much sloppier. My drawing hand and my drawing brain won't cooperate to improve the linework, much less add color. They hope to be back in better form tomorrow.
   As for the subject, some explanation is in order: after a reader correctly predicted yesterday's comic a day in advance, I asked whether they knew what I'd post today and if so, whether they'd mind telling me. Their answer: "a clever multi-point deconstruction of the statistical assumptions posed by the Fermi Paradox, all implied allegorically by a pun about farts". Pretty close, huh?
   For best results, please imagine a very gaseous nebula revealed in panel 3's zoom out.
Panel 1 of 3: A large telescope on a mountain. A speech bubble comes from inside: "A whole universe out there—" Panel 2 of 3: inside the telescope facility, two astronomers are seen working. One replies to the first panel: "—and so you're saying, what, you'd think we'd've smelt it by now—" and the other, who spoke in the first panel, says, "—if there was someone to have dealt it. Yeah." Panel 3 of 3: back to the exterior shot, but zoomed out. The conversation continues: "Well, perhaps they have some kind of stealth tech. Some kind of 'great filter'." / "Seems more likely that every species just hits a point where it dutch ovens itself to death." END



Now what?

Línjì Yìxuán taught, "If you meet the Buddha on the road, kill him." 

This informative pamphlet takes it from there.

Against a background of dramatic stone formations and a pass between them, a hand holds a pamphlet: "So you've killed the Buddha / Now what?". Depicted on the cover below the title is a Bodhi tree with a glowing outline in the shape of the meditating Buddha.



I count


A stick figure holds a  mixing bowl and stirs seven times. "Nothing bad will happen to me *because* I don't do things the correct number of times. / The bad things will happen to me anyway. / Might as well let my brain enjoy its prime numbers."

I can make this joke because it is also the truth.

I feel like I should add the caveat that my obsessive-compulsive thing with numbers is currently not significantly interfering with my life...but I'm definitely keeping an eye on it, because I know that won't necessarily always be the case. YMMV.



The woods


The antlered quadrupedal creature with a smiling stick figure face is back, drawn in pen with digital watercolor, and saying, "You will meet good fortune in these woods. Not because of anything I did. The woods just like you!"

Are you just trying to get me to spend big at the gift shop? Because it's not not working.


Have you seen this dog?


A sign taped to a utility pole reads: "HAVE YOU SEEN THIS DOG? (IN YOUR OWN YARD?) [illustration of a dog with a speech bubble] 'I bark & howl day & night, but I'm not a bad dog. I just have a negligent, inconsiderate owner!' Take responsibility for your anımal and be a decent neighbor. Please? Contact me if you know who the problem is." (and then the bottom of the sheet of paper is cut into tear-off tabs with an illegible phone number)

Today's comic is brought to you by: at least three different terrible neighbors!


Forest passage


A strange, antlered quadruped with the face of a human stick figure stands at the start of a path into a dark forest and says, "You may pass through this forest as you wish,but know this: the only way out is through the gift shop."

I doodled this little fella a few days ago & have been troubled ever since. Now I pass the mild curse along to you.




Office Bird goes home


NB: An earlier draft made it clear that Office Bird is visiting a sibling and niblings back home, not their own neglected children and partner. But there was so much to squeeze into the square that the final version ended up leaving it open to your interpretation.


Office bird


Today's comic comes to you straight from my drafting notebook, in partnership with enough insomnia to make this feel like a good idea.


Tool cows


I shouldn't have done this, but I did, & now we will all have to live with it.


Digging deeper


In a hole in the ground there lived someone who should have just stopped talking.


Do the thing


The Floating Head of Salvador Dalí is my life coach and spiritual advisor.


All or some


Sometimes I receive a comic in a vision & do not dare refuse it.


Hammer time, possibly


Today I learned that drawing a giant hammer is even harder than drawing a regular-sized hammer.


Reaching for the dream


For now, all it does is look cool in the driveway...but weekend tunneling is the dream.


You don't know


...which does give some insight into the severity, if not the particulars, of the experience.


Soupe à la mouche


The spider who lives in my cartoonist hat told me to make this comic.




"The most delicious sauce can be hard to find. Elusive Sauce™: Good luck getting some."