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Tuesday, May 31, 2016

Debts paid


"If you're patient, you can turn them into way more kittens. So really, if you think about it, you're gonna owe me."

Sunday, May 22, 2016

No surprises, please


Lobsterman considered thoughtfully for a moment. "You know, I can always just try this another time, when you've stopped expecting it. Well, see you later, Carl!"

Thursday, May 19, 2016

Exit strategies

"Stella? Is that you?!"
Sigh. "Hello, Carl."
"But you...I thought you were..."


Saturday, May 14, 2016

The Earth I know and love





"For there is nothing either round or flat, but thinking makes it so.
"To me, it is a prison."
(with apologies to Hamlet)


Thursday, May 12, 2016

Your opinion is irrelevant



I rate very highly with single-member household demons in their thirties, and carnies across the board.

Friday, May 6, 2016

In the perception of the perceiver


Mental Health
Once there was a universe that not only revolved around, but was also contained in and formed from, the mind of a single being named George. George did not know that he was his own universe in its entirety, because he made no efforts to investigate the matter; he assumed that this was the case even as he interacted with his own mental projections of characters who, for all he knew, might have been real individuals with free will and their own rich inner lives. 
George was a lazy jerk, and The Elder Council of the Metaverse passed unanimous judgment that the best thing to do would be to leave George there, totally alone, for whatever duration his existence ended up having. He wouldn't mind, and it would be far better for the other beings of the vast multitude of universes to never have to meet him.

Thursday, May 5, 2016

Hermetic horticulture


The secret is that I actually love these plants more than anything else in the world...but I can't tell them so.