The next morning, I awoke to find that my dream had come true: I was a tree. I was filled with joy as the breeze rustled past my branches. My roots were really dug down in there, in the ground, and it felt wonderful to know I wasn't going anywhere for any reason.
My happiness lasted a whole hour, at which point a bunch of squawking, crapping birds landed all over me. Their grasping feet tickled my bark unbearably, but I had no way to move. No way to scream.