Yesterday I remembered that Valentine's Day is a thing!
So I made some Valentines. And here are some more.
Feel free to share these with those you love. Just don't forget to tell them where they can find more love (that's right: at crustaceansingles.com. Seriously, though, please do send people here. Send help. And snacks.)
So, uh, hey. Sorry if I startled you, just now, jumping out of the bushes like that. I was just thinking: we've been on quite a few dates now. I mean, I hope you agree that me standing just a few places behind you in lines, or watching you get a haircut through the window counts as a date. Anyway. I was wondering if maybe you wanted to meet my parents. I'm going to both of their maximum security prisons this weekend, and they can't wait to finally get to know you.