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Friday, June 15, 2012

Room in this town


Interrogation Results:
Traditionally (as of maybe three weeks ago), Interrogation Tuesday happens on a Tuesday and not a Wednesday. But I forgot what day it was. After my apology, here's the level of forgiveness I got:

(Thanks for the forgiveness, most of you).

No way, man.313%
We never were cool in the first place.417%
I don't even know what you're talking about.14%
I don't care.417%
Because of your heartfelt apology, I forgive you.1250%


The middle three questions generally produced the horrifying equivalent of fan fiction, but for bar jokes. Here they are, uncensored, etc.:


People you would actively try not to hit with a car, with editorial comments in [brackets] (and failure to make comment doesn't indicate that I didn't like the answer):

"my mother
my mother
T-Swift
Baller hot chick (and she was smart. That never happens) I went on a date with last week. Now, if the question was someone you *would* hit, then the biznatch who took a steaming dump on my heart earlier this year. Definitely her. [ouch, dude, whoever you are]
Anyone
My sister [Awww!]
The Pope... maybe...
Andrew Livingston [aw, thanks. If only I could say the same for you!]
I have really great car insurance... [Congrats. Really.]
Jason Mraz
Dalai Lama.  But only if I wasn't in a hurry... [Yes, officer. I was in a hurry.]
Harvey Birdman, Attorney at Law
Batman [Don't you know he'd probably just blow up your car anyway, for coming close to hitting him?]
My past self who had traveled to the present through the aid of my future time traveling self [Awesome.]
Probably my friends. [Note to this kid's friends: find out why not 'definitely'. Is it something you did?]
Depends on the car, really. And my mood at the time. [Yeah, like what if it has built-in lasers and stuff?!]
my imaginary friend Hubert.
Harry Potter [See below for more fictional characters from the HP series]
me
I would never hit anybody. You are sick. [Note that I only asked for one person, never implying that there would be only one. You probably just got all disturbed by the fact that left to your own devices, you would run them all down, and then felt guilty about that. You monster.]
gary oldman
Draco Malfoy [and #2]
god [The Judeo-Christian one? I mean, it doesn't look like it, because He Usually Like Capital Letters A Whole Lot]
Albus Dumbledore [and #3]"

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