Dressing it up

Mental Health
Rolf dug around in the fridge for lettuce and spinach, tomatoes and carrot shreds. He rinsed the leaves and dried them. Somewhere in the kitchen, he had some sunflower seeds. As Rolf went looking for them, unbeknownst to him, white vans were parking in his driveway. People with bulky video cameras were entering through his side and back door, setting up their equipment on tripods. 
He found the sunflower seeds and added them to the basic salad in the bowl. He returned to the fridge, rummaging around before sighing in dismay; Rolf was out of salad dressing. But in that moment, he heard a voice behind him.
"Some dressing?" it asked, sounding smooth and cheap, like soybean oil.
Rolf turned and saw a figure dressed entirely in black, including a ski mask, which looked at him, head tipped slightly in curiosity. He saw that it held a plastic bottle in its hand, marked "Raunch Dressing". He did not notice the camera crew surrounding both of them at different angles.
He was too surprised to think clearly, too surprised to be afraid. "For my salad?" he asked.
The figure shook its head patiently. "For you."
The cameras got this and the ensuing action all in one take, and the film went on to earn high praise...in certain circles.

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