My refrigerator

 

"I'll thank you to save your accusations for when you have proof."

Always, always

 

 

"What was that last bit?"

Joke prerequisites

 

 

Also, we will have to make sure there are no wasps around.

Self-study

 

 

"Naturally, there are many promising avenues for further research..."

Please read the sign

 

Them's the breaks

 I'm a really positive person.

Psychological structural integrity

 

I should go back to therapy, because it really helped me write jokes.

Small talk

 

'Inaudible' wouldn't be going too far.

It's a bit of a thinker

 

Hat consumption

 

I am ready

 

Castaway infestation

 

Nothing good can come of this.

Arboreal interview

 The tree is forced to entertain inane questions in the hopes of having its labor exploited.

Hate it when that happens

 

Musical musings

 

Why do I keep that thing around, anyway? Oh, right. The curse.

Some of my best work

 

I know what I said.

Subjective appraisal

 

I am now less able to see beauty in the world around me.

Hazardous and sad

 

The subject of today's Remake Monday was first posted on 2016-11-03.

A reasonable request

 

Thank you for your time.

Mositure requirements

 

 

"Whenever you get a chance, of course."

Learning by doing

 

"If I do nothing and things still happen, none of them are my fault."

Doctor, it hurts

 

"Well, there goes my usual advice."

That's nice

 

Look in your heart

 

Nutrients can be used to produce more blood, so...

A belated promotion

 

 

"Please, sir, morale is low enough as it is."

The subject of today's Remake Monday was first posted on 2017-11-08.

A legendary bird

 

The Bird of Truth is commonly confused with the Bird of Weirdly Evasive Replies.

My other hat

 

MY OTHER HAT WAS NOT CITED AS A PRIMARY REASON FOR MY FORMER SPOUSE'S DECISION TO SEPARATE

Completed composition

 

"To your credit, the spelling is flawless."

I cannot bear the weight of your regard

 

Ubiquitous upset

 

I am sorry to everyone who has politely listened to me rant about Windows 11, Android 12, Firefox, etc. I am trying to bottle up the anger in a healthy way instead.

A difficult decision

 

Don't let them in

 

An old skull's last wish

 

I'd be the happiest skull in the bone heap.

Fair enough

 

The spooky old house

 

: an autobiography

Assistance offered

 

Yet another costume idea for you! (if you are a snake)

Grave consideration

 

Ernie & company admit to no wrongdoing.

Very extended

 

I got rid of that thing years ago!

Disguising the serpent

 

Incomprehensible

 

What else you got?

We meet again

 

"Well, ..."

Yet another possible disguise

 

Lunar aspirations

 

Space Race II: This time, it's humans vs vampires

In pursuit of evil

 

"I'm a lot of things, but I'm no hypocrite."

A spider's work is never done

 

Hmm...yes, that checks out.

The posthumous return

 

(This is a re-run, which I try not to do so much, but I'm having a rougher time than usual lately so I figure it's better than nothing.)

Another state of being

"Not looking for a debate; just making conversation."

Apex predators

 

Vampires never think about ecology.

Butting heads

 

"He's lying! That dude totally owns and rides a horse!"

Sounds pretty chill