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Showing posts with label medical trouble. Show all posts
Showing posts with label medical trouble. Show all posts

2024-07-30

Slowing down

 

A tired person lies on their back on the floor and speaks the text of this post, repeated below for your convenience: "Dear readers, I am slowing down lately beyond the strength of my denial to ignore, and the daily schedule I've kept for about 99% of the last thirteen years has become untenable. Naturally I am riddled with worries over The Future &c. plus a compulsion to immediately define the new terms of my self-imposed life sentence in the cartoon mines, but for now all I can say is that it's going to be more than weekly and less than daily for the foreseeable future. The good news is that the full archives are right there on CrustaceanSingles.com (more navigable on the desktop view, BTW) with 4762 posts to binge. The early years are rough, but some of them still have a certain scruffy charm. I apologize in advance for the handwriting. To reiterate: I'm not going away. I am slowing down for a while. Read my old stuff if you find yourself jonesing. Thank you for being here."

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2024-07-23

I am learnèd

 

Top caption: "Pain teaches all about time"; illustration: stick figure stands a little hunched as the center of a sundial, casting a long shadow across it; bottom caption: "but what a useless lesson".

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2024-07-08

Science drink

 

Pictured: a scientist wearing giant round glasses and a lab coat, pensively holding a beaker of pale green liquid from which they have just sipped. The scientist thinks, "Nice flavor...no monstrosification... / Well, so far."

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2024-05-03

Egress and ingress

 

Panel 1 of 2: One person with a hole in their forehead says to another, "Trepanation has many benefits. For one, it lets the ghosts out of my skull." The other replies, "Or in." Panel 2 of 2: A closeup of the face of the person with the hole in their head, an expression of shock and dread upon it.

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2024-05-02

I need it like I need a hole in the head

 

A person with a woodpecker perched on their head and a hole in their forehead points at the hole and the woodpecker, looking happy and excited. "Being friends with a woodpecker is great! I got this trepanning done for free!"

Friendship sounds rewarding. I keep meaning to try it sometime.

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2024-04-29

Restlessness

 

A person lies on their back on the floor with arms folded and legs writhing in the air. The legs are disproportionately long and twisted. The person says, "Restless legs, why can't you be lethargic like the rest of the body?"

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2024-03-16

Positive

 

A doctor (wearing a nametag "Doctor Doctor MD") holds a clipboard and addressed a person with a snake biting their head who is sitting (the person, not the snake; the snake is just hanging there off the head) on an examination table. The doctor says, "You tested positive." In an inset frame in the bottom right, we zoom in on the snake and top of the person's head; the snake looks alarmed and says, "Oh no."

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2024-03-12

Bona fides

 

A patient sits on an examination table and asks, "You keep saying 'neuronurgy'... Are you even a real doctor?" The person in a white doctor's coat glances over a clipboard held up in one hand and replies, "No, but I did minor in impostor studies." On the wall in the background, a flier reading "Pls join study" with otherwise illegible text is pinned. Below that, another reads "Supporte greup" (support group). To the right, a medical diagram poster has a stick figure with superimposed brain and nervous system. The poster is labeled in some sort of pseudo-Dutch and French hybrid: "De broens & de neurfs of de huemmeun / Wat is de broen? En mizurabbel piel of neurns."

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2024-03-02

Cool accent

 

Title: A True Story. One person, friendly and interested, says to another: "Cool accent! Where's that from?" The other replies with a rueful smile: "Brain damage." Around this second person's head is a sort of halo crossed with a labyrinth drawn in awkward lines, because I am a serious artist.

   Real things people have said to me: "It sounds like you're an American who grew up at an embassy in Europe or something. / Is that a Canadian dialect? / Are you from one of those little islands off the coast of New England...? / It's gotta be one of the Commonwealth countries, right?"
   (It's currently *mostly* hyperarticulation to compensate for the brain damage.)
   (For the record, I don't really mind. I have a linguistics background & a front-row seat to witness a very interesting catastrophe.)

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2024-02-17

The classic taste is back!

 

Panel 1 of 3: a bottle sits on a table. The label reads "Bone-hurting juice". Panel 2 of 3: a stick figure has drunk the contents of the bottle and, with the last drop lingering on the mouth of said bottle as it's held over their mouth, thinks, "ow oof ouch owie." Panel 3 of 3: A second figure asks, "Do your bones really hurt now?" The first replies, "Please respect my medical privacy."

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2024-02-15

Please

 

Panel 1 of 4: A bottle sits on a table. The label reads "Juice that makes you wake up". The art is drawn with simple black outlines. Coloring is monochromatic in teal. The table has a scribbled approximation of wood grain. The bottle is oddly outlined in semi-opaque teal but itself is colorless. These coloring conventions hold for subsequent panels. Panel 2 of 4: A stick figure holds the bottle and reads the label, thinking, "How would you even be drinking it if you were asleep?" The thought bubble, like the bottle, is colorless. Panel 3 of 4: The person sets the bottle back on the table. Its label now reads "Can you hear me in there?" but this is no longer within the person's field of view. Panel 4 of 4: A close view of the now-abandoned bottle, identical to the first panel except for the fact that its label now reads "Please wake up." END

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2024-02-06

Suspiciously so

 

Panel 1 of 3: a bottle sits on a table. The label reads "Juice that makes you paranoid". Panel 2 of 3: a stick figure drinks/has drunk the contents of the bottle and, with the last drop lingering on the mouth of said bottle as it's held over their mouth, thinks, "This is good." The bottle's label now reads "NEVER SLEEP". Panel 3 of 3: A second figure stands nearby, making a sort of vague social acknowledgement but saying nothing. The first thinks with a troubled expression, "Too good." The bottle's label now reads "THEY'RE ALL AGAINST YOU".

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2024-01-15

Lab results

 

A doctor stands in an examination room and looks at a clipboard. A patient lies oddly on their back on the examination table, head lolling and one arm dangling over the edge. The doctor says, "The tests are back. / Your skull count is normal."

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2024-01-07

Sounds like

 

One person hands a large sea shell to another, who holds it to their ear to listen. The first says, "Try it! It really sounds like the ocean!" The second, listening, replies, "The ocean sounds like tinnitus!"

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2023-12-22

Do you?

 

A surreal scene: Grambo sits in a giant teacup, looking alert and uncomfortable. The round bird perches on the teacup's handle. In the background, ancient Greek columns grow like trees, branching into canopies of roofs where they haven't broken. A thought bubble at the bottom: "Every time I think I understand what's happening to me, I soon after realize Ek msn't nvin cloak." (That last bit is a garbled version of "I wasn't even close".)

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2023-12-02

Profundity

A person approaches a puddle from which a second person's head emerges. The first says, "Wow, deep puddle!" The second replies, "No, I'm a disembodied head in a shallow puddle." The first says, "Oh. Sorry?"

 

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2023-10-05

Dark eventualities

 

The frame is from a first-person perspective of a person lying in bed in a dark room. The bedside table has an empty glass and a phone on it. At the foot of the bed and extending up to the ceiling, a shadowy figure with a distended face crouches, reaching one clawed shadowhand towards the reader. It says, "people who love you are going to watch helplessly as you erode away until there's nothing left of your self" and the person in bed says, "thanks for the heads up".

I think my sleep paralysis demon is depressed too

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2023-09-28

I spy

Two stick figures walk on a trail through a forest. The first looks around and says, "I spy with my little eye..." The second, who has one large eye and one tiny eye, frowns and crosses arms crossly, saying, "You know I hate this game." In the background, two pointy-eared creatures peek around plants and watch the two. Also, a bat hangs from one of the trees. Hell yeah! It's bat time!

 

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2023-08-30

Finally happening

 

Two balloons with faces look down at a stick figure's head with no body, only a spinal cord, who smiles on the floor. The head says, "I think it's finally happening! I'm turning into a balloon!"

Magic is real! Wishes come true!

(sometimes my hands are uncooperative so I just have to look around at stuff I've already drawn & recycle it & hope an idea comes of it. if you recognize these scribbles from earlier this year, I regret to inform you that you are a CrustaceanSingles superfan)

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2023-08-22

A journey through the desert

 

An exhausted person crawls through a desolate landscape of sandy dunes. In the near distance, a prickly pear cactus laden with fruits is growing. The person says, "That cactus has been following me for several blocks / & I am starting to feel nervous".

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