Selections from "A Brief History of Bad Ideas"

Bad Ideas I'm Having Right Now:

Unfortunately, I typically won't know which ones are bad ideas until I've tried them. Wish me luck.

I used to live next door to this guy

Mental Health

Patients showed a marked deterioration of condition under the experimental "innacupuncture" therapy, and most complained to the FDA that they "continued to find embedded needles in their skin for several weeks after treatment had ended". The therapy's inventor, the evil Dr. Vandertramp, was last seen fleeing to Cuba in a black dirigible.

mostly not true

Guess what I'm doing today

Mental Health

In retrospect, the explosion was overkill, the superfluous attempt of an amateur villain to show the world what he was made of. The evil plan would have gone off perfectly without the theatrics, and the authorities would never have bothered to show up. And after all, just how dead did the heroic secret agent need to be?

Attention grabber

Possibly a slight exaggeration

Mental Health

He is a man in disrepair. He whispers unconvincing reassurances to himself when he thinks no one can hear, but he is a poor judge of his own audibility. He locks every door in his house, fanatically. When winter comes, if he has not yet fallen at the hands of imaginary enemies, he may go so far as to be a mall Santa Claus. He reflects often that children make the best human shields.

Scraping the Bottom of the Barrel

Director's Commentary on a DVD no one will ever watch

The title for today's post is due to the fact that there was no scanner to be found today, not in all the land. So these are backup drawings, held in reserve for just such a time of desperate need. The good news is, the scanner and I will probably have resolved our differences by tomorrow. 

You didn't need to know any of that. We now return to your regularly-scheduled internets. 

Salt, meet wound

Mental Health

"I think I can, I think I can," I whispered to myself, shouldering the heavy load and chugging up the hill. Gradually I became aware, in spite of my deep concentration, of a crowd of people gathering around on both sides, perhaps to admire my determination and stamina. Perhaps to cheer me on.

Well, and then I heard the guy say, "Get that lunatic off the tracks before a train comes!"