Supply and demand

Mental Health

Advice for drowning people: don't listen to advice. Don't read self-help books. Don't try to breathe water.

Coming to terms

Mental Health

 I guess what surprised me most about living underwater is that dolphins are such jerks.

The flaccid arm of the law

Vocabulary deficits

Mental Health

It was pathetic, Norma thought, how repetitive the traps were becoming. She sidestepped a loose tile which concealed a switch, no doubt a trigger for some spring-loaded spikes or biological weapon. It was as though her captors had long since run out of ideas, but were only now implementing the re-runs. She paused, waiting for the circular saw pendulum to swing past, then darted through the hallway, barely able to contain a tiny sigh. It felt tired and lame-- what had happened to the sense of surprise, to the excitement?

Technical difficulties

I couldn't help but notice

Mental Health

It hurts to say it, but dang it, Claude, I hate cranberries in salad. I hate all fruit in salad. I've been living a lie, all these years. And now I have to leave.

I'll be taking the bacon bits with me.

Unsurprisingly

 Mental Health

Great Uncle Wilbur thought it would be fun to surprise his nearby relatives and drop in on Thanksgiving. When they turned out to be gone, he decided the next best thing would be to break in and fake his own death in their living room.