In which Lobsterman makes a resolution

Alternate caption:

(what's a freegan?)

Mental Health

 "This is going to hurt you a lot more than it hurts me," said Dr. Vandertramp in serene honesty. "That shouldn't really come as a surprise by now."

New or used

Mental Health

Dan wandered through the house, opening cupboards and drawers, not entirely sure what he was looking for. The owner of the home stood in the dark at the top of the stairs, holding a shotgun he didn't know how to use, mentally preparing to defend himself.

This will be lost on some

This will be lost on some. Here's a clue:

Mental Health

This is a tough one. I've been pulling my hair out over it, and when I ran out of my own, I started pulling out other people's. And I'm only halfway through the crossword, and also I have no more friends.

Nothing wrong with it, in and of itself

Mental Health

It would take a decade for most of those who attended the family Christmas party to heal from the psychological trauma of the evening. And yet there they were, as it was ending, overtaken by a peculiar madness that made them say, "Let's do this again next year!"

You can too drink ocean water

Mental Health

George was on a date, and he was grasping at straws. His date was sitting at the booth, waiting for him to come sit down. He continued to play with the straws, and played with the forks and spoons for good measure. When he began dipping them all into the ketchup, the manager asked him to leave, which was more or less what George had hoped for.

Return of the torso faces

Mental Health

Claude decided that, to extract revenge properly, he would have to descend to the seedy underbelly of the broken system and tickle it until it peed.

It never is

Whatever you believe or don't believe, make sure to have a nice day on the 25th of December.