A warning is a promise

Required by law

Fire out of the sky

Mental Health

"And who shall we send to carry out this holy task?" asked the angelic coordinator.

 "How about the normal two? Or are they busy?"

"No...but do you recall the, ahem, episode with Sodom and Gomorrah? I don't believe we anticipated their...overwhelming attractiveness. The mortals were not well equipped to deal with it."

"The angel of death, then?"

"If you think it's that drastic..."

"Fine. Send the arson angel. But don't come complaining to me when you have to send even more angels to put out fires. Literally."

"And figuratively," said the angelic coordinator, with a shake of the head. "Arson angel does what arson angel wants, I'm afraid."

Aspire higher

With halfhearted apologies to Ray Bradbury.

 

Mental Health

"Well, I want to be a plane-man when I grow up!" 

___"I think you mean a 'pilot'." 

"No! I want to be a man who is also an airplane. That's way better than a pilot."

Life's work

Mental Health

They say "If you love something, give it away," but when the International Supreme Court of Human Survivors determined beyond all reasonable doubt that I was the original vector of the ultravirulent plague, no one seemed to care just how much affection I had felt for the little critters who did, admittedly, wipe out 90% of the human population.

The creative spark

A nice day

Mental Health

The professionally friendly person had urged him to have a nice day, and he had responded with the requisite blandness. Little did he know that the very next day would be the nicest of his entire life, beginning with the smell of blueberry pancakes and ending, not unpleasantly, with the crackle and glow and smoke of an uncontrolled fire.

Self-diagnosis

Wishful thinking

Mental Health

"Well, son, it's like my own dad used to say to me: 'wish in one hand, and pour the gasoline with the other, and see which one burns your neighbor's house down first.'"

My intentions

Announcements first: Valentines are coming. Several past comics will be rewritten or redrawn, and I have a bunch of all-new, never before seen valentines in the works. Will they make the object of your affections fall in love with you? Yes. Yes, they will.

Just doing my job