Season's greetings from the depths

Lobsterman isn't a Fishtian, but he understands the spirit in which the well-wishing is done.

Did you know that my fiancée Sharah is a pun genius? Today's comic was inspired by this list she made for me:

The Floating Head of Salvador Dalí presents:

The Floating Head of Salvador Dalí presents:
 a product guaranteed to restore soul to wit!

Guest art by Barrett Bodine, illustrator and co-author of The Brothers Poorley

READ ALL ABOUT HIS STARTLING APPARITION AND ASTONISHING PROPOSITION!

Also with: Strange Tales by Ian Poorley

Oh, and here's some Mental Health

Hi. I'm Ian, and I'm a non-writer.

[Everyone in chorus: Hi, Ian!]

I've been clean for just a couple of weeks, now, for about the hundredth time. I have plenty of practice with the beginning part by now...you know, writing a little every day at first, starting to feel some confidence again, and then...just, well, I don't know what happens. I guess something comes up, or I just tell myself how nice it would be to have just a little break, like somehow I've earned it,  like as though it were the kind of thing that even can be earned.

[A few knowing, rueful chuckles come from the audience.]

It's just now occurring to me, standing up here and running my mouth, that that's got to be a big part of it. Of the addiction, I mean. It's like, fundamentally disconnected, somehow, in my head. The idea that of course I want the results, I want to have written the ideas, stories, and all that...but that I still, after so many attempts and failures, have not as yet convinced myself that staying clean through daily writing is a part of that.

Or really, since that wasn't quite what I meant, that writing every day is really its own one-day-at-a-time reward and not a punishment at all, which is what my diseased, non-writer will wants me to believe. My broken worldview has it backwards; it tells me that the process is a punishment and that the real punishment, "taking a break", is the reward. 

And somehow, somewhere in my past I let that take root and become this sense of entitlement, believing I'm a writer just because I've written some alright stuff before, or just because I tell myself I could write if I quote-unquote felt like it. But the truth is, I'm a non-writer in recovery. Every day I manage to create something is a little miracle, and I don't care how cheesy that sounds. 

Anyway, thanks for listening to me ramble on. Who knows if I would be here today without your support, but I'm glad I don't have to know. Alright, that's it from me. Thanks.

Relative reactions

"Wait...80% less sad about my death? Or 80% less sad about the tapping?"

"Either way, actually, now that you point it out."

Guaranteed box office triumph

Also, did you know that I have awesome friends? You might be one of them (but don't get cocky). My friend Collin made this piece of guest art, and I'm a big fan. If only more of you could be like Collin and make comics for me.

Guest art: easter bunny

Today's entry comes to us courtesy of my brother Mark. It was just too good for me to pass up.