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2023-06-07

When life gives you roller skates and shovels...

 

A stick figure in the foreground wears roller skates and holds a shovel. Standing on the curb are at least two spectators, probably more out of the frame. The foreground character thinks, "It's just now occurring to me that this could be a bad idea." The spectators say, "DO IT!" and "Roller skate shovel fight". The fighter adds a final thought: "But I'm no quitter."

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2023-06-06

Your thoughts

 

A ballon looks unimpressed and says, "I can hear your thoughts. / I think you should think different thoughts."

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2023-06-05

I truly hope you find them

 

Panel 1 of 2: Person 1 asks Person 2, "Excuse me...do you ever feel like you miss someone you don't even know yet?" Person 2 says, "Actually, yeah. Sometimes." Panel 2 of 2: Person 1 asks, "It's not me, though, is it?" Person 2 shrugs and says, "I don't think so. Sorry."

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2023-06-04

A lonely existence

 

Panel 1 of 2: a stick figure whose head splits into two heads about halfway up the head, such that there are four eyes but only one mouth, says, "Not really two-headed, not really one-headed. A lonely existence." Panel 2 of 2: zoom out to show another stick figure whose body splits at the mid-chest, such that they have two arms but four legs, says, "I don't know ~exactly~ how you feel..."

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2023-06-03

Why I am here

 

A tortoise, not very competently drawn, says, "I came here to munch some leaf and make some friends / and I'm all out of leaf to munch."

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2023-06-02

Hair of the dog that bit the hand that snatched two defeats from the bush

 

Person one, concerned at the haggard appearance of person two: "You feeling OK, dude?" Person two holds a steaming mug printed with the text "Days are bad" and says, "I was up late mixing metaphors. / It was like one big muddled simile but worse."

I couldn't draw a tortoise, so this is what I have for you today.

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2023-06-01

To the best of my knowledge

 

A long-bearded stick figure sits on steps and says, "All I know is that I know nothing." A listening stick figure at the bottom of the steps asks, "You sure about that?" Unrelated to the main action, a bird flies past, carrying a large bone in its claws.

One of the best uses for time travel: heckling philosophers.

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